Gulp. Apparently I have volunteered to be the coach of my child's Science Olympiad "Rocks and Minerals" team at his snoburban middle school. I am the only non-scientist coach. Most of them work at National Institutes of Health curing cancer or Alzheimer's. The sum total of my rocks and minerals experience is that I found a pink quartz pebble in fourth grade and it was my treasure; my father threw it out when I left for college, and I'm still bitter.
The purpose of the Science Olympiad is thus: So your kid will get into Harvard or MIT five years from now.
Some of the questions asked by parents:
How can I look at the names of the other kids on my son's team [so that I can reject their inferior brains]?
What is our strategy for winning the Nationals?
We were told that if most teams win first or second place, but one team tanks, we will not win. This happened last year. I repeat: Gulp.