It is August. This is when snoburbia clears out and heads for other snoburbias in more beautiful settings - beaches, mountains, deserts.
First, you must arrive at an airport and slum it with everyone else. You will rent a car and drive for many moons through towns with Walmart and Family Dollar.
With great relief, you will know you finally have arrived at vacation snoburbia when you go into the local cafe and it lists a "quinoa* wrap with pesto and spinach." Thank God - normal food!
*If you do not know how to pronounce "quinoa," you are not from snoburbia.