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If you live in the snoburbs, the only acceptable lights to use in decorating your house for Christmas are white. You hear me? White. They must be wrapped around garlands of evergreen, and they must frame your door just so; perhaps a porch railing or pillar, but never more than that.
If you use ribbon, it cannot be Christmas red. Rather it must be a muted shade of maroon. Wreaths (which may be made of moss) must contain berries.
Which brings me to timing: In snoburbia, you mustn't put your Christmas lights up too early. Certainly not before the first weekend in December. The second weekend is perfect.
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In my hometown in Appalachia, the tryptophan has barely kicked in after the Thanksgiving meal before every house is bedecked in inflatable snow globes, rooftop Santas (and sleighs, of course), and thousands of colorful lights. And always the icicle lights.
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(That weeping you hear as you drive through the overclass suburbs this holiday season? It's the mourning of the demise of Smith & Hawken.)
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You forgot the one single white candle light in each window is also a "must."
Posted by: Kathy J, Washington Gardener Mag | December 02, 2009 at 07:38 AM
And apparently in snoburban Montgomery County, Md., it is a crime to buy your tree too early: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/27/AR2009112703150.html
Posted by: snoburbia | December 02, 2009 at 10:02 AM
When we lived in Missouri, it was in fact de rigueur to get your Christmas lights up by *no later than* the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Waiting until the second week of December meant you were likely a Communist, and that was right out. Using only white lights meant you were possibly gay, although that was possibly okay if you lived in a college town and didn't flaunt it.
All kidding aside, electricity was ultra-cheap, since it was produced by the distinctly underclass nuclear power plant one county over. Down wind, though. We were always a year or three away from being able to afford buying stuff at Smith and Hawken, which, I am afraid, explains a lot.
Posted by: justafed | December 04, 2009 at 10:04 PM
BTW I tagged you with an Honest Scrap Award - see my 12/5/09 blog post at washingtongardener.blogspot.com on how to follow up.
Posted by: Kathy J, Washington Gardener Mag | December 06, 2009 at 07:58 AM
Gee, thanx...:)
Posted by: snoburbia | December 06, 2009 at 08:36 AM
Beautiful. Putting the lights on the center of the window is so wonderful. Simplicity is always so elegant.
Deirdre G
Posted by: Philippines properties for sale | January 06, 2010 at 10:14 PM