my SUV can carry more honor students

 

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A letter to the editor, New York Times:

A better name for the Suburban, depicted in “A Big Hulk Rolls In as the Latest Status Symbol” (Styles, May 12), would be the Pretendin’. Pretendin’ there is an infinite supply of gasoline. Pretendin’ one is buying it for utility instead of as a status symbol. And pretendin’ that one doesn't realize how inappropriate and awkward it is for getting around in narrow streets like those on Cape Cod, where the vehicle is inordinately popular.

(May 1996)

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It’s like the Canyonero on the Simpsons. The monster SUV. You see it, hulking around the snoburbs – usually with one person inside, driving 3 blocks to the grocery store.

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Comments

[Ari Daniels]

If you'd like to make shirts out of these ideas, we'll discuss permissions! I took photos of two vehicles in Rockville/Bethesda/Wherever-the-hell-I-was. They were stretched limousines made from an H2 and a Ford Excursion. I was going to caption these pictures "H 2 MUCH" and the other was going to get a copy of The Onion's little faux ad on the Ford Land Destroyer. It reads like a real car ad with the last line of the paragraph reading "Take one test drive and we're sure you'll agree - it's f--king huge!"